Welcome to Door Church Indianapolis

I was born and raised on the south side of Tucson, Arizona. As a youth I was brought up in a broken home with a Pentecostal background. Growing up, my family and I would attend church 3-4 times a week with additional bible studies and concerts in between as well. Though I was completely immersed in the Christian world, I had zero understanding of who Jesus was and what real salvation was about. The only thing I vaguely understood was that: 1. My dad loved me, and 2. Apparently God loved me. Unfortunately, as soon as I was able to, I decided to see if there was anyone else out in the world that would love me too. At 17, I left the church to find my identity in anything and everything else but Christ himself. As a result of my parents separation, I was dealing with a brokenness stemming from rejection that would become the foundation of major depression and anxiety in my latter years. I became sort of a chameleon, trying to find who I was by blending into to all sorts of different crowds, pretending to be something I wasn't for the sake of acceptance. Like most religious fall-a-ways, I turned to drugs, parties, relationships and alcohol to find, peace, purpose and identity. After I failed miserably and made an absolute mess of my life, I made my way back to what I would assume be the most stable thing I could think of at the time... Church. I would (in MY mind) genuinely dedicate my life to Jesus at the age of 25 and would then spend the next 12 years attending and serving in the church I grew up in. I played guitar for the worship team, bass for the choir, and lead outreach teams, etc. Things had definitely turned a corner and I was starting to become a different person. On the surface, things began to get better. I could hold a job, I got married, began having kids, owned two cars, a motorcycle and bought a house. But on the inside, I was still the same broken, lost, rejected, identity-less individual. There was still an emptiness in me. I fell into a deep depression that would inevitably put my marriage and family at risk. I was still struggling with addictions and anxiety, all while claiming to be a Christian. This further fueled my depression because I felt like a complete failure. Failure as a father, putting my desires before my children. Failure as a husband, neglecting my wife for videogames, movies, social media, simply to escape the reality that I felt like a loser. Now, I'm failing as a Christian, knowing there were things I was doing that God was not pleased with. Somewhere along the way in the 12 years of serving in church, with everything I learned, I missed Jesus. I had simply become religious. Being slightly more than a seat warmer was good enough for me. I could quote the scriptures, I could say the prayers, speak the church lingo, but as soon as services were over, it was back to life as usual; the vain pursuits of my hearts desires. Jesus was still just something I did on Sundays, Wednesdays and sometimes Fridays and Saturdays. My "Love" for Jesus was no different than my love for motorcycles, tools, and pizza. It wasn't until I was virtually minutes away from losing my marriage and children that I realized my "Salvation", or the version of salvation I was living, was worthless. My relationship with Jesus wasn't reflective of what a relationship with Jesus looks like as described in the bible. It was then that I understood, I don't really know Jesus the way I thought I did. I had no experiential knowledge with the man I claimed to fallow with my life. In that moment, I accepted that I was still lost, a sinner, and needed to be saved. In the fallowing days, I surrendered my life and endeavored to follow Jesus no matter the cost. I began to forsake my wants an desires, my hopes and dreams, in the pursuit of knowing and falling in love with Jesus. As I began to experience the reality of knowing Jesus on a completely different level, my life truly began to change. The acceptance and Love of God the Father through Jesus healed the brokenness of my rejection. My character began to change as I sought to please God with my life, My marriage was restored as Jesus began to heal my heart from the destruction of my bad choices. As I let go of my personal pursuits, Christ lead me to become the father my children needed me to be. As I threw myself into the mercy of Gods salvation, Jesus met with me. Not only did Jesus heal the brokenness of my heart and life, he gave me purpose.And within that purpose, he gave me an identity. The core issues that brought so much pain, emptiness and destruction in my life were remedied by finally giving up the search and giving my life over to Jesus. Not via religious repetition or church attendance, but by giving Jesus complete control. Now my Life is whole. My marriage and my family is restored and I get to be a part of building Gods kingdom here on earth. My only regret is not surrendering my life to Jesus sooner. My prayer for the reader is to not waste time like I did. Let Jesus give you hope and transform your life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."